Ever been told you don’t have enough vices? It certainly would not be said by anyone who knows you. Someone who knows you, will know your vices. Unless, maybe there is some goal in mind. A goal such as getting you to do something you would not be inclined to do. Or perhaps you have been told you have no vice in a sarcastic way, making you feel guilty about standing firm in not participating with them in their chosen vice, a blatant manipulation. In some cases this could be called bullying.
Maybe getting all made up like a painted woman isn’t your vice, but why should others try to make you feel bad about your natural beauty? Maybe you don’t drink, or at least not to excess, but others uncomfortable with sobriety try to shame or guilt you into joining them. Maybe you don’t swear and curse, but someone begs you to just drop the f-bomb, please!
Others naturally want you to be just like them, so they know they are accepted. When you follow a different path, others can feel judged. Not everyone has the strength to oppose such peer pressure.
Perhaps, like me, you have succumbed to peer pressure and done some things you aren’t proud of. Maybe fitting in, keeping peace, playing along took you on a path you did not expect and did not like. Maybe you lost yourself.
In my younger years, I allowed others to guilt, shame, and mock me into partying. Now I am talking about the 70’s. Sexual, drugs, and rock n roll. There was always booze, always a crowd to urge the next thing on you, wearing down resistance. There was always someone with a reasonable argument about why everything was okay. “Chill out, be cool, relax. Stop being so tense! We’re all friends. Would we let anything bad happen?”
Bad did happen. I lost my way. I’d broken with my faith. I’d rejected the values I was raised with. As a young mother, my marriage was in shambles! Alone and crying one night, I came to a conclusion. I would reclaim myself. I would change my mind, and turn around, and leave all the people behind who did not support my chosen lifestyle. I was not certain Hubby would be coming with me on my new path, but I never wavered.
Now you know something about me that I rarely share. I don’t indulge in drunkenness, because I know where it will lead. I don’t risk flirtatious encounters that try to pretend to be innocent, because I protect the faith of my marriage.
I’m not a prude, although many think I am. I have sworn and cursed, and I let the bird fly regularly, but not to please another. My biggest vice these days is chocolate. I mean CHOCOLATE, chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, chocolate ice cream, chocolate syrup, and a chocolate bar on the side. This is a vice I can live with.
April's Perspective 