Time

8 Year Anniversary Achievement
Happy Anniversary with WordPress.com!
You registered on WordPress.com 8 years ago.
Thanks for flying with us. Keep up the good blogging.
Eight years ago I had no idea what a blog would come to mean to me.  My original concept was very different.  I wanted to write about psychographics, but nobody seemed interested, except my sons.  After awhile, I decided to try again.  Sometimes I’m more serious about blogging than other times.
These days I am not exactly burning up the keyboard.   What am I doing?  Processing!
If you aren’t from my area of the world you may not even realize what is going on here.  Between current events in my area, and personal events, there is a lot to process.
We had a very contentious election in 2016, and the divisiveness continues.  We have this Russian investigation into Russian attempts to interfere in our election, and possible collusion with candidates.  There is also a special prosecutor investigating obstruction of justice related to the Russia investigations.
Our outspokenly provocative president has done nothing to heal the divide in the electorate, and has participated in a war of insults with any opposition, including, most notably, North Korea.  This discourse includes such memorable comments in tweet form such as, “My button is bigger than yours!”
Trade agreements have been tossed.  Tariffs have been instituted.  Regulations are rolled back.  The Environmental Protective Agency is barring new organizations from meetings dealing with clean water concerns.  The Government has opened park land to business interests and has put up for sale large tracts.  There are scandals in various government departments.  There are also politically motivated accusations of improper procedures being followed by anyone who has anything to do with the various investigations.
Some of this “politics” continues to spill out into daily life.  Political topics quickly lead to arguments, and sometimes violence.  Demonstrations seem to be a part of daily life:  Against guns/for the Second Amendment, kneel for social justice for black people and minorities/stand for the flag, white power (complete with tiki-torches)/unity of all people.  Plus we have Women’s March, Not One More rallies against gun shootings, and the Me Too movement against powerful men.  As I write, Harvey Weinstein is being taken to prison after being arrested and charged for violence and abuse against women in His business under him.
All of this can be overwhelming.  It is mesmerizing!  It is upsetting, no matter which side of the politics you are.  I now limit my news viewing.  I need to give some thought to my real life.
There are changes going on in my life.  Doctors are now a big part of life.  Answers need to be found.   Adaptations have to be made.  Plus there is our house.
Our house is being painted!  I know I picked them, but I have to say, I love the colors!  I am so relieved.  Those tiny little swatches look great as a room.  I still have some anxiety about my other selections.  They are so different from anything else I’ve ever had.  It is exciting and fun.
While I am processing all this stuff, time just gets away from me, and yet another day goes without a blog posting, but I’ll do better.

Quirky or Eccentric?

Here I am sitting on my back porch, on this beautiful fall day of clear blue sky and 70 degrees with no humidity.  I might have to get a sweater or move to the sun, but that is an easy fix.  I wish we could have more of these not too hot, not too cold days.

Do you think mother nature is looking for flattery by offering us this beautiful weather?    If you have been following, you have probably guessed that flattery is the word prompt for the day.  My readers are the brightest in the blogosphere!

Is that laughter I hear?  I hope so.  I would hate for you to stop reading, because you have decided I’m an insincere twit.

A woman I know prides herself on her ability to use flattery to hide the fact that she dislikes you.  Somehow, we do know that she is insincere.  In addition, she exhibits what is called “thirsty” behavior, or fishing for compliments.  This is a term I learned today while researching flattery.  “Thirsty” behavior, was written about by fellow blogger  Darnell R. Mckinnon.  (Don’t you love when your Google search brings you to a WordPress blogger?)

Perhaps both sides of the excessive giving of flattery and the excessive desire for flattery can be attributed to low self-esteem.  She compliments to curry favor, and engages in behavior to draw compliments from you, but the result is not the intimacy that is craved.

Instead of intimacy, a superficial relationship is formed, because sincerity is missing from the relationship.   How do you pick up on the insincere flattery?  Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we realized no-one can like everything we wear, everything we do, and think everything we say is the smartest, funniest thing ever.  We just don’t think that highly of ourselves!

In addition, when we don’t respond with flattery about her clothing, her every choice, and are less than awed with everything she says…?  Well, she implodes.  She finds us judgmental, because she herself questions her acceptability without constant positive reinforcement.   No neutral comments are acceptable.  The position that it is none of our business is not acceptable.  Only 100 percent, explicitly stated, fawning agreement is acceptable.

I have been known to compliment a color a person is wearing when their clothing is otherwise unflattering.  I do this to be nice, but the compliment is a sincere attempt to tell them something they can use in the future for a better choice next time.  If I was shopping with them, and asked, I might say let’s try something else.  Who knows, the next choice might be much more flattering.

The bottom line is; do what you want for yourself, not for others.  If it pleases you, that is enough.  Your friends will consider you quirky or eccentric, and love you anyway.  You don’t need to do anything for anyone else. Now that is self-esteem!

(Note:  Hubby came up with the title.  What do we think?)

 

 

When the Facade Slips

 Photo by Jason Merritt/Getty ImagesJoel Kinnaman Suicide Squad

We all can relate to people’s weaknesses. We might put up a facade that everything is perfect but none of us are. When we see that weakness in somebody else, we understand or give ourselves a little bit of leeway.

Joel Kinnaman

 

We all do it.  We put our best self forward, put a smile on our face, and when asked, respond with, “I’m fine!  How about you?”  We are all fine, until we aren’t.  The facade we so carefully present to the world, slips.

Thanks to WordPress we all have the facade of professional bloggers.  Now, I’m not saying we aren’t excellent photo journalists, feature writers, fashion editors, motivational gurus, and commentators.  But maybe we aren’t all that tech savvy.  I began on a typewriter, graduated to word-processing, and now look at me.  A very professional looking blog.  Thank-you WordPress.  (And you can do it too!)

In our real lives we are surrounded by people, some we know and many we don’t know, who are all coping with situations we know nothing about.  If we are close, they may be comfortable enough to tell us of their life difficulties.  Maybe they just lost a job, have a spouse who drinks a little more than they are comfortable with, are drowning in debt, or they are worried their child might die of a drug overdose, or a host of other situations.

We dress ourselves up, put on our protective shell, and try to look like confident people able to handle anything.  Sometimes we can actually fool ourselves into buying this act.  But the curtain always comes down and we are left alone with our weakness and pain.

We may not think about it very often.  We know our lives aren’t perfect, but we struggle on.  We expect ourselves to deal with it.  For the most part we do.

I guess that’s why, when a man comes up to us, in dirty rags, asking for money, because he is active duty on leave, with a baby at home and no food, a sick wife, and he can’t find the VA offices that are not in this part of town and are probably closed at 7:30 p.m., we are suspicious.  The guy hit all the soft spots, but like Hubby said, no one who is active duty would look like that.

Perhaps we should have taken him into Starbucks and gotten him a coffee and tried to get the real story.  In this area, there is a one-in-four chance that the man is a drug addict.  I would bet he is homeless, or very nearly.  But then what?  Drug addiction is a problem in our community of Huntington, West Virginia (perhaps the worst in the country) and every place of worship, every civic group, every community organization and every level of government is focused on this problem.

So it’s like Joel Kinnaman says, “we understand or give ourselves a little bit of leeway.”  Everyone has problems.  When the curtain falls and you are alone, remember you aren’t the only one.  Others can understand, even if they don’t have a handout that can provide temporary relief.  Perhaps sharing with others is a start.

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