Rains wash out the long awaited barbecue and fireworks. There is a pop quiz when you haven’t studied. You fail that big test, because you are sleep deprived after studying 72 hours straight.
These are not examples of the unfairness of life. These are simply lessons of life. Weather happens and we have no choice, but to smile and go on with an alternate plan. We learn to always be prepared for those pop quizzes of life. We learn to balance work with rest.
We make wrong choices, and if we are smart, we learn from them. Neither is this learning process the evidence that that life is unfair. True, we may cry, and beg God to save us from our shortsightedness, and complain about the unfairness of being constantly tested by life. Deep down inside we accept the consequences of our actions, and sometimes we learn the lessons, and make changes. Otherwise, we repeat our lessons until we learn.
The acceptance that is difficult, is the acceptance that we don’t all start off the same, with the same opportunities, and chances. Poverty rests heavily on some, and lightly on others. Learning opportunities are given more freely to some that others. Patience and kindness bless the lives of some, and others live under fear and want. Some people have teachers and parents to lead them on the right path, and other people must find their own way.
These divisions even occur within the same family. Family prosperity can change during the formative years of children of various ages. The poverty one child experiences, is not even remembered by another child, because they did not experience the poverty. As a family’s fortunes change, the enriching opportunities to the children vary between them. Educational opportunities can open up that were closed to earlier siblings. The love is consistent, but parental health, prosperity and changes in responsibly outside the family create differences in opportunity for the children.
Siblings may not be able to see the lost opportunities of another, thinking their differences were a matter of choice, rather than a difference in the circumstances of their lives. This is unfair. Not only has one sibling missed opportunities another received, but sharing the grief over missed opportunity can be interpreted as criticism of the family and particularly the very loved parents.
While others may not be able to understand the grief of lost opportunities, there are other opportunities and other dreams. The struggles are not the same, because things are not equal. Every person has struggles. No one knows when fortunes will change, nor when tragedy will strike. A life that starts out with deprivation, can end with prosperity. Early neglect can place a seed of compassion for the future.
Life may not be fair, but you can find another dream, happiness, and love.