Here I am sitting on my back porch, on this beautiful fall day of clear blue sky and 70 degrees with no humidity. I might have to get a sweater or move to the sun, but that is an easy fix. I wish we could have more of these not too hot, not too cold days.
Do you think mother nature is looking for flattery by offering us this beautiful weather? If you have been following, you have probably guessed that flattery is the word prompt for the day. My readers are the brightest in the blogosphere!
Is that laughter I hear? I hope so. I would hate for you to stop reading, because you have decided I’m an insincere twit.
A woman I know prides herself on her ability to use flattery to hide the fact that she dislikes you. Somehow, we do know that she is insincere. In addition, she exhibits what is called “thirsty” behavior, or fishing for compliments. This is a term I learned today while researching flattery. “Thirsty” behavior, was written about by fellow blogger Darnell R. Mckinnon. (Don’t you love when your Google search brings you to a WordPress blogger?)
Perhaps both sides of the excessive giving of flattery and the excessive desire for flattery can be attributed to low self-esteem. She compliments to curry favor, and engages in behavior to draw compliments from you, but the result is not the intimacy that is craved.
Instead of intimacy, a superficial relationship is formed, because sincerity is missing from the relationship. How do you pick up on the insincere flattery? Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that we realized no-one can like everything we wear, everything we do, and think everything we say is the smartest, funniest thing ever. We just don’t think that highly of ourselves!
In addition, when we don’t respond with flattery about her clothing, her every choice, and are less than awed with everything she says…? Well, she implodes. She finds us judgmental, because she herself questions her acceptability without constant positive reinforcement. No neutral comments are acceptable. The position that it is none of our business is not acceptable. Only 100 percent, explicitly stated, fawning agreement is acceptable.
I have been known to compliment a color a person is wearing when their clothing is otherwise unflattering. I do this to be nice, but the compliment is a sincere attempt to tell them something they can use in the future for a better choice next time. If I was shopping with them, and asked, I might say let’s try something else. Who knows, the next choice might be much more flattering.
The bottom line is; do what you want for yourself, not for others. If it pleases you, that is enough. Your friends will consider you quirky or eccentric, and love you anyway. You don’t need to do anything for anyone else. Now that is self-esteem!
(Note: Hubby came up with the title. What do we think?)