Hubby is a smart, clever, funny man. When we met, we were high school kids, and I was full of angst, and he was just full of it. He pulled me out of myself, and made me laugh. Now we have been married 45 years.
Sometimes I will say something and he has an entire conversation entirely by himself with no feedback from me. Trivia, jokes, sarcasm, and random comments in a flow of free association spill forth in a never-ending stream. Sometimes it’s purely funny. Other times, while still funny, there is a real bite to his comments. When Hubby’s comments are biting, I stop him and remind him that what he is saying is nothing I’ve had any part in, and not only are these not my words, but I don’t feel that way at all.
It is funny, challenging and exasperating. For me it is particularly entertaining, challenging and exasperating when we get on the subject of grammar and word choice. He was a tech writer and editor. I, a reporter and writer. He has been trained to leave my sentence fragments and word choices alone. I have encouraged him to write blogs, so we could have a his and her perspective, but so far he has resisted my urging.
I have seen a funny comment break the ice in awkward situations. I have seen a humorous comment transform a conversation from tense to easy. I have seen him make an insightful funny comment in a serious conversation than transformed the thinking of others.
The unstoppable humor is well-meant. Hubby might humorously say something about you being fat, or make a comment on your ugliness, but he would never say such a thing if he actually thought you were either fat or ugly. It would just be a joke. Our daughter will put her father on speaking probation. Number one son finds nothing funny about any of it, calling it abusive. Next son finds it annoying, but can tolerate it, and if he isn’t busy with something else, may even enjoys his Dad’s humor.
Recently, I’ve read some articles about sarcasm and humor that support number one son’s opinion. Even though many of us think sarcasm and deprecating humor funny, it is biting and can be considered abusive or bullying. I am not sure I would go that far. I would agree sarcasm is clearly a very powerful rhetorical device, so use it with care. #