Cause and Affect

Tossing a ball Mike and Elliot had several misses before they learned from experience how to catch the ball in the glove each time.  Aaron road his Big Wheel down the hill of his driveway at full speed right into the street.  No one told him this is not a good thing to do.  You spend your weeks allowance in day one, and for the next six days you are out of luck.  These are natural consequences, which is listed as a form of punishment, an action or reaction that serves to change behavior.

This type of punishment will be repeated until you identify the cause and effect.  If you are lucky, you have someone to give you a heads up.  A Dad and/or coach helped Mike and Elliot learn to catch that ball.  Aaron learned when a grandmother screeched to a stop inches from him on the road.  I am still learning not to spend my allowance all at one time.

Mike, Elliot and Aaron now have children of their own to teach the lessons they learned as children.  We will see if I learned my lesson well enough, as we will soon be living on a fixed income (due to retirement).

Sometimes the hard lessons of life come with punishing consequences.  Sometimes children on bikes get hit by cars, and sometimes killed.  With all the dangers in life, sometimes parents resort to  yelling (vocal intimidation).  The goal is not to intimidate, but to get attention, call an immediate stop to an activity, and sometimes it can save a life.   Natural  consequences  is only one tool in the parenting tool box, and is often used with other tools.

Right now I  have grandchildren  to play with, there will be no punishment today.  Punishment is the parents job.



7 thoughts on “Cause and Affect

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  1. True, like when you catch the ball. Victory! Of course going into the street with the Big Wheel had many satisfying ends, until it didn’t. Of course parents can create rewards, but today’s word was punishment.


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