“I yam what I yam!

Alright!  You win. 

Have it your way. 

I don’t care.

If that’s the way you want it.

You’re right, as always. 

Okay, whatever. 

The argument has gone on and on and finally you decide you are done.  You can’t win, and nothing you can say or do will really make any difference, so you tap out.  They get the hollow victory, and you hope they choke on it.  Problem solved.  Right?  Wrong!  The problem is still there.  You can work around it, but there is no resolution and you both know it.  Life goes on.  Some arguments are not winnable.

You can tell me short-haired cats are better than long-haired cats all you want.  I can agree that short-haired cats leave less hair around the house, and are a lot less work to own, but the argument and my agreement mean nothing in the end, because I just love those puffy long-haired cats.  Anger will do you no good so do not be exasperated by my choice.  You don’t have to like my choice.  To continue in a relationship you must accept my choice, even though we both know we disagree.  If my choice bothers you enough you can just go someplace else where you are more happy.

The bottom line is, I am who I am.  You can take me or leave me.  I have been left before.

When childhood friends learned about my dislike of racist jokes they left.  When I refused the sexual advances of friends who were swingers (sexually non exclusive partners) and shared my view of relationships as an exclusive loving relationship, they also left. Friends and a few family members who have disagreed with my political choices have stopped coming around.  I imagine others just don’t like my sense of humor.

If life were like social media, we could just block the content we don’t like.  You dislike my sarcasm, you can just block it.  I dislike your political views, I can block them.  We agree animal abuse is bad, so you think we all should be vegan, I can block that.  We can go on with our relationship.  I don’t want to change you, just disagree and don’t want to argue.

But maybe life is like social media.  Maybe we can like someone, even be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t agree with us completely on everything.  Maybe we can have a little tolerance for differences.  Maybe we can overlook or forgive short comings.  Maybe, we can learn our differences aren’t all that important.

Image result for popeye the sailor pictures

11 thoughts on ““I yam what I yam!

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  1. Yes, I learned in English lit that when you see someone, you think of them as your ideal. Then the more you get to know them, the more you realize how far they stray from this ideal. I think the whole basis of getting a relationship to work is based on how far they stray from this ideal and how much you’re willing to work on that and overlook the differences. The theory is mostly about romantic love but I think it can be applied to all relationships.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Casual relationships sometimes are not worth it. There is a reason it is said not to talk about religion and politics, because there are differences, as in our current political climate, which includes both. Some people can only tolerate those who think exactly like them. Those people have a problem.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Guess generally simple preferences are quite tolerable, e.g. someone likes chocolate and the other likes vanilla, and both can enjoy what they like at the same time without really harming the other. The problem really comes when there is harm (direct or indirect) to others, e.g. smoking in the room shared with non smokers/children, dirtying the house without cleaning up etc. That’s when some communication and compromise/adjustment is required e.g. if it is a real issue, keep the long haired cat away from the house. No ego should involved. But just hypothetically speaking. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The long haired cat thing is my own observation, although my Mom had complained about animals and their hair my entire life. I am very tolerant of smokers, but do suffer from asthma. All the smokers I currently know, smoke outside, even when their children are not around, an excellent compromise. I have no problem hanging outside with them. Life does take a lot of compromise and adjustment.

      Liked by 1 person

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