Medicated, meditative, and decaffeinate and still I spend some nights searching for that which is lost, forgetting where I have to be next, and missing those important tests.  Buffeted by storms, and naked before the world, I struggle against every obstacle.  It is enough to make me miss the haunted mansion with rooms full of furniture of every time period and every style. The ghosts aren’t so bad, once you get to know and understand them, and I get to shop their furniture for my rooms (the ghosts are usually willing to share).

It could be nothing more than my worry over the problems of my grown children.  These problems are not my problems and I can’t solve nor prevent their problems, but I am still concerned for them, as I always have been.  Or it could be the misunderstanding at work over the dress code, where I volunteer, for no money.  It could be the uncertainty of trying to envision and create the next stage of my life, which is full retirement and about 18 months away.   It could be watching the news, full of hate, with violence entering into places we should feel safe, as in our churches, schools, parks and movie theaters.

I don’t think I am all that unusual.  The heightened anxiety of Americans is driven by international tensions as well as conflicts at home.

We worry about our privacy, our safety, and we don’t know how to protect ourselves.    This is not making us more thoughtful, and polite to each other. This heightened level of anxiety is making everyone suspicious, and trigger happy. Our schools treat our children as if they are all potential assassins, and lock downs are not just for prisons anymore, but something our children must cope with in their schools.   Those who prepare for the apocalypse, are preparing for themselves, not their neighbors.

We need to look out for each other.  Which means we need to get to know each other, and help each other before trouble strikes.


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