Possessive? Protective!

I have a well-earned reputation for being a possessive woman, although I would call it protective, and over the past 43 years of marriage this side of my personality has shown itself more than once.

Early in my marriage there was a woman who I thought was my best friend.  We sat next to each other in church choir, we both crocheted, and our little kids would play together, and our families socialized most weekends.  She and my husband were sing duets together in church.  Her interest in my husband was a little to touchy for me.  She would sit next to my husband in Sunday School and I was too timid to ask her to move.    When I talked to Hubby about all this touch, and my dislike of her coming between us, he didn’t understand my concern and became defensive.

The day came when I talked to her about her attention to my husband.  She told me I did not deserve my husband, because instead of staying home and seeing to his needs, I was working, and involved in other things.  I never left him alone when he just wanted to have a few drinks, and I am judgmental and old-fashioned.

Just like Marissa Bergen’s poem The Joke Is On Me I wanted Karma to dish out a heaping portions of bad things to befall her.  She didn’t lose her beautiful voice, but became a very skilled nurse after her divorce,  and seemed to have the respect of those who know her.

But if you look a little harder, I am the one married for 43 years and already planning our 50th Wedding Anniversary.  I am the one who has had the freedom to use my time in a manner of my choice, whether to work for charity, or spend my days writing or sewing things for my grandchildren.  My children are all doing well in their marriages and their chosen fields, and have wonderful families.  Plus I am the one who is told by my husband that even the worst day with me, is better than any day without me.

I have learned to leave timidity behind, and if you sit by my husband, I will ask you to move.  I will call you on your inappropriate touching, and Hubby has learned to respect my judgement, so just give it up, because you cannot come between us.  Even though my voice isn’t strong enough to do a duet together, we are a duet that plans on continuing for many year to come.

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10 thoughts on “Possessive? Protective!

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  1. Well said! I don’t typically react jealously but this one night…we’d gone out for dinner and were waiting for the hostess to seat us. She was a lovely young woman who recognized us from previous visits and in a friendly gesture she placed her hand on my husband’s forearm very briefly. I knew that’s all it was but I immediately closed the distance between JD and myself, slipping my arm through his in what was apparently quite a proprietary manner. JD was very pleased at my possessiveness. 😉

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  2. Thank you so much for the shout out! It actually puts things more in proportion for me as well, to always look at what you have and be grateful for that, even though it’s frustrating when karma doesn’t quite do it’s thing!! As a side note though, the nerve of that woman. If I were her, I would at least have the sense to back off when I was called out by the man in questions wife!! (Not that I would be flirting in the first place…)

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  3. Some men area flattered by the attention and some are oblivious to it. Women have great, built-in radar for this and we should use that power to its full extent. When I first (re)met my now husband, he had told me that he had been interested in a couple of the single windsurfer ladies a year prior. They were not interested in him for whatever reason. As soon as I walked in to the picture, one of them, a very pretty, busty blonde (the kind whom other women want to scratch their eyes out), suddenly got interested. I made it clear he was mine! Good for you for taking a stand for your hubbie! He is lucky!

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