If Dad Ain’t Happy

While our children were growing up we had a plaque on the wall that said, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.”  This came up in conversation during the family get together and Dad said the correlarary is that “If Dad ain’t happy, nobody cares.”   Dad saying that correlarary did not make Mom happy.  Sometimes Hubby has a strange sense of humor and why he thinks some things are funny has been a mystery to me for well over 40 years.

Our two children in attendance corrected their father saying, “If Dad ain’t happy, then Mom isn’t happy.”  This is what I have been saying as the correlarary for 40 plus years.  I filled with pride to hear my children quoting me, and then encouraging me to blog about it.

A happy marriage, and happy family, requires that both parents are happy with the situation.  This doesn’t mean everyday is filled with peace and tranquility.  Sometimes it take a lot of discussion, and high passions, to figure out a solution to conflicting desires that  will make both partners in a marriage happy.  Money, sex, issues of child raising, and how to manage a household provide plenty of opportunity for conflict and negotiation.  The idea is not to feel like you are compromising, but to achieve a solution that meets the needs of everyone in the best possible way, resulting in happiness for everyone.

Increasing the difficulty to achieve satisfactory solutions to life’s disagreements is the fact that sometimes we have difficulty identifying the real concern.  Many of the problems within a marriage and family, have to do with feelings of security, fairness, and a desire to be heard.  If one person lacks security, a sense of fairness, or believes their feelings are being ignored, then the relationship will not be happy, and the family is in danger of falling apart.

The work of marriage is to get everyone pulling together toward the same goals, for the wellbeing of everyone.  Children who see their parents working together and achieving goals together, and being as concerned about each others happiness as they are about their own happiness, will be happy children, ready to take on the challenges of the world.

4 thoughts on “If Dad Ain’t Happy

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  1. This is SO true – thank you for sharing your perspective on it. I think too often, we want what we want and don’t always consider the impact it will have on our partner. For me and my husband, we have to make a conscious effort to always weigh our individual passions and goals against family and other priorities. It’s a balancing act for sure. It was my turn for awhile, then its his. For us, this has allowed us to both find happiness in a really busy and awesome life 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I heard (second hand) about a blog article by one housewife who said she always made an issue of things she did not like or felt were unfair. She called it her “Hamburger Moment.” The gist of her story went like this: she asked her husband to pick up a package of hamburger from the store, but she did not give him any details. He brought home 6-40–way too much fat content for her liking. She flew into a rage over the inferior quality an asked him if he had not seen her buy 90-10 since they day they married. He just shook his head and stood there.

    Apparently her rage was greater than normal so the husband left the house to get away from her. She had time to cool down and then realized what she had done to him to make him think he had to go away. Apparently she realized what a jerk she had been and determined to change all that; it was her “hamburger moment” that saved the marriage.


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