While our children were growing up we had a plaque on the wall that said, “If Momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” This came up in conversation during the family get together and Dad said the correlarary is that “If Dad ain’t happy, nobody cares.” Dad saying that correlarary did not make Mom happy. Sometimes Hubby has a strange sense of humor and why he thinks some things are funny has been a mystery to me for well over 40 years.
Our two children in attendance corrected their father saying, “If Dad ain’t happy, then Mom isn’t happy.” This is what I have been saying as the correlarary for 40 plus years. I filled with pride to hear my children quoting me, and then encouraging me to blog about it.
A happy marriage, and happy family, requires that both parents are happy with the situation. This doesn’t mean everyday is filled with peace and tranquility. Sometimes it take a lot of discussion, and high passions, to figure out a solution to conflicting desires that will make both partners in a marriage happy. Money, sex, issues of child raising, and how to manage a household provide plenty of opportunity for conflict and negotiation. The idea is not to feel like you are compromising, but to achieve a solution that meets the needs of everyone in the best possible way, resulting in happiness for everyone.
Increasing the difficulty to achieve satisfactory solutions to life’s disagreements is the fact that sometimes we have difficulty identifying the real concern. Many of the problems within a marriage and family, have to do with feelings of security, fairness, and a desire to be heard. If one person lacks security, a sense of fairness, or believes their feelings are being ignored, then the relationship will not be happy, and the family is in danger of falling apart.
The work of marriage is to get everyone pulling together toward the same goals, for the wellbeing of everyone. Children who see their parents working together and achieving goals together, and being as concerned about each others happiness as they are about their own happiness, will be happy children, ready to take on the challenges of the world.