If a Man is in the Woods

If a man is in the wood, and he talks, and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?

I think I made this up, but I really couldn’t swear to it. I am sure I am not the first woman to think such a thing. Hubby and I were fighting in the car and he was complaining that he is always wrong, so I made this little sarcastic comment. He laughed and the argument was forgotten. He has now repeated my bit of sarcasm to everyone at every opportunity. It is funny, and always gets a laugh, and neither of us can even remember what the original argument was about.

It is the kind of thing I’ve heard my whole life while in the kitchen with the women on the holidays. “My husband is head of the house. I always let him think so.” “Boys will be boys,” we say about our men engaged in the annual Turkey Mud Bowl. The men will laugh at these also. Men go along with the joke, giving their “little woman” a pat on the behind to send them off shopping. Okay, maybe it is only grocery shopping, but hey, its part of the game, or maybe better described as a dance.

Even if you don’t dance you know that the man is the lead, the one who directs the dance. You would only be partially correct. If the man tried to lead exclusively, there would be a lot of bumping into people on a crowded dance floor. Dancing is a cooperation. When the man is moving backwards he relies upon his partner, since he does not have eyes in the back of his head. Likewise, relationships should be cooperative.

In a relationship, one or the other may take the lead depending knowledge, skills, and talents each possesses. With discussion, sharing, and mutual consideration each person will have the insight to see who should lead. Two people working together can accomplish much more working cooperatively, than one person trying to do everything.

By working together, hubby and I raised children while putting ourselves through school. The two of us built garages and porches and gardens. Oh my! We have built an entire life. As long as we are working together, we can do anything.

So, if you see my hubby in the woods, tell him I’m waiting for him.

21 thoughts on “If a Man is in the Woods

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  1. april great opening line, it stayed with me and lead me to this one, so wanted to share it. – if a man’s in the woods talking and a woman can’t tell him he’s wrong, is she still happy?


  2. April, loved this and true on so many levels. There’s a scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding where the mother is agreeing that the father is the head of the house and then goes on to say that she is the neck and she turns the head where she wants it! The analogy of dance is spot on too! 🙂


  3. HA! This is awesome. As a vehement “masculinist,” I very much appreciate your standpoint and tone in this piece. I really love the spirit of mutual leadership. I hate the notion that the man should be “in charge,” of anything, but I hate the notion that women should “TAKE charge, and assume/regain power,” just as much. As a forward-thinking male who believes that whomsoever is the best-suited to take the lead in any given circumstance should do so, I cast out a hearty “RIGHT ON!” to you and anyone else who subscribes to this ideal.


    1. Some cling to the lead more tightly, and it is not a male/female thing. But in a happy union, give and take must occur. Two people working together can accomplish so very much. Thanks for reading.


  4. I need to share your opening line with my husband and I’m going to start using it often as well, including the suggestion of indianmcgyver too. He’ll love it.
    So true what you said. I really enjoy your way of thinking and writing style. Looking forward to reading more.


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